


Acts of Fidelity

by silasfinch



Series: Acts of Faith [9]
Category: Saving Hope (TV)
Genre: F/F, Family Feels, Gen, Post-Canon, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-08 03:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20293198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: A Katz Family Reunion in London





	Acts of Fidelity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnnNette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnNette/gifts).

_"to love life, to love it even_

_when you have no stomach for it_

_and everything you've held dear_

_crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,_

_your throat filled with the silt of it._

_When grief sits with you, its tropical heat_

_thickening the air, heavy as water_

_more fit for gills than lungs;_

_when grief weights you like your own flesh_

_only more of it, an obesity of grief,_

_you think, How can a body withstand this?_

_Then you hold life like a face_

_between your palms, a plain face,_

_no charming smile, no violet eyes,_

_and you say, yes, I will take you_

_I will love you, again." _

_― _ ** _Ellen Bass_ **

"I need your help."

Abraham Stien looks up from the stocktake into the face of his second favourite doctor. It is out of character for Sydney Katz-Lin to barge into any space, lest of all a Jewish studying area. He hasn't known the young woman long, but she has the mindset of a devout scholar with a reference for learning.

Abraham is old and experienced enough not to require overt evidence of his faith. Many of his students struggle with the concept of feeling divine will without seeing it; which is one of the many juxtapositions between reformist and conservative ideals.

"I am at your service, Sydney, is your family well?"

"My parents are coming for a visit and meet the boys for the first time! Rebecca finally convinced them to come. However, I only have a week to make all the preparations."

Abraham guides the young doctor to the backroom, pushing her into a chair and switching on the kettle for tea. This conversation is going to take a while, and like most things, in England, such topics go better with tea.

"You can't rewind the hourglass, Sydney. Your home is a beautiful Jewish home that is raising Jewish sons but labouring for a thousand days will not make your parents comfortable there. Acceptance does not come from the right number of candles or the right food on Friday."

"But I need to try to make a good impression if only to acknowledge this small step."

"Then we will plan a welcoming dinner and introduction for them, complete with readings and songs" Abraham agrees, but I won't let you work yourself into the ground to meet an impossible standard. We aren't in the time of Job, and your parents are respected elders, but that does not make them omniscient."

"My life would have been very different if I had you to teach me the observances or at least some balance in the scriptures."

Abraham gives her a gentle hug before handing over the tea and steering the conversation to menu suggestions and an itinerary for the trip. Rebecca is keen for Aaron to have a holiday with his cousins and to see this part of the world. Sydney feels a surge of pride in knowing that her family is playing the host to relatives. Such an act is something she thought was lost to her when she chose to live openly.

***

"This might be a redundant statement, but you know things don't have to be perfect right?"

Sydney doesn't spare the energy to glare at her wife as she preforms a running inventory of their kitchen and how well it meets the Orthodox standards. The twins were watching both their parents uncertainly from their position at the kitchen table. To no one's surprise, at five, Asher and Gideon were displaying the natural studiousness of their mothers. Alex and Declan conspire to ensure that at least a few of their presents aren't books.

Therefore the twins are happy to do extra reading to please their Mamma and the Katz grandparents they have never met. They like the role of chief tasters for all their mother's baking even more. The heavy scent of pastry, spices and meats linger in the air for days. Their classmates are the main winners when the results are subpar.

"I am not going for perfect Maggie - our family is amazing, and my parents need to see that" Sydney pleads as she reaches for another cleaning rag.

"I'm almost positive we were still amazing six cleaning sessions ago, Darling. Your mother isn't going to arrive with a tape measure and a grading system. The boys know their verses, and I know enough to be respectful" Maggie tries to reason.

"Maybe not a physical one" Sydney concedes reluctantly.

"Mumma needs a family hug." Maggie stage whispers

Asher and Gideon are all too willing to oblige flinging themselves at Sydney with enthusiasm and enough energy to almost knocking her over. Nothing distracts Sydney quite like the endless energy of her personal miracles. Each son takes turns with hugs and kisses, pleading with her to come out and play while the weather is still fine enough.

Maggie takes advantage of the distraction and moves all cleaning products out of sight before going in search of a family movie to watch.

***

"Aaron!"

Sydney makes a vain attempt to wrangle her children from leaping over her solum and reserved eight-year-old nephew. The weekly Skype dates between the two families become a highlight. Aaron Friedman is the image of his father, with the same quiet nature. Rebecca and Samual may keep a more reformist home, but that does not make them any less devout. Aaron has the makings of a Tolmond scholar, but neither parent pushes their miracle child.

"Shalom Aaron" Sydney offers once the twins move on to Becca and Samual.

"It is wonderful to see you, Aunty," Aaron says formally before throwing his arms around her waist.

Sydney always takes a moment to treasure the weight of him. Aaron is the ultimate definition of a 'Rainbow Baby' after so many miscarriages and disappointments. Maggie's radical intervention that day saved both her sister and her nephew. She hopes one day to tell him the story of his birth and how everyone fought to save him.

The thrill of hearing him readily accept Maggie as another aunt never leaves her. All the pain and the sacrifice are worth it to get to this point and to receive such daily blessings.

Her parents were painfully awkward, but they were here. Maggie is calmly circling with platters of food and offers to refill drinks.

Maggie and Samuel are doing their best to keep up the conversation. Now that the boys are racing each other in the backyard, there isn't an obvious distraction point. One is the favoured son- in law, and the other is a daughter in law, they can barely acknowledge in private or public.

"Asher and Gideon are proceeding well with their religious education. The last report cards you sent were excellent" there is a note of something close to approval in her father's voice.

"Of course they are. Sydney is the best religious teacher anybody could ask for. I can attest to her skills; she is the reason I chose my career path." Maggie agrees proudly

"Will you convert? With the help of this Rabbi Stien, you so admire?" Mrs Katz asks sharply.

"No mother Maggie is not going to convert, nor does she need to to remain part of this family. Conversion out of obligation is an afront to the faith."

***

"You could have all this without such pain, you know."

Sydney feels her heart sink at the proclamation from her mothers as they shared the breakfast dishes. Washing machines were incredible inventions but not up to the task of large Jewish breakfasts without help. The simple domestic task was a chance for some mother and daughter time.

"No mother I couldn't - Maggie is the centre of my family and my soulmate. Therefore she is irreplaceable in any future variation of this life."

"She does not understand our ways no matter how many books she reads or lectures the scholars give, sure you can see the gaps in her knowledge."

"Knowledge doesn't make an ideal partner mother. Maggie makes me happy in every way that counts and is the best mother my sons could ask for; I wouldn't change her for the world."

"She is leading you further away from our home, Sydney."

"I haven't felt at home there since I was 17 and you said Shiva for my only friend, despite knowing how I felt about her. Everybody thinks I suppressed my sexuality, but you knew all along and _still _tried to destroy my only solid foundations" Sydney fights back the tears.

"Who knows who they truly are at 17? I hoped you would find a sensible boy who loved the sciences as much or something."

"That's a copout Mum, you weren't that nieve, and I know you read my diary since my 15th birthday. There were plenty of clues in there if you were looking hard enough."

"I don't know what you want from me, Sydney!"

***

"Mom and Dad are processing as fast as they can, Syd- give them time."

"Practically telling me to trade Maggie in for a more acceptable model, that was progress?" Sydney seethes as she paces the length of the guest room.

Rebecca Friedman watches her sister pace with no small amount of amusement. Sydney always did have ridiculous standards for progress. Even as a little girl, with a brain the size of a planet. Syd was always pushing for things to be different and better.

"Yes Miss High and Mighty London Liberal, it is."

"They refuse to accept my family after all this time!"

"If we genuinely didn't accept you no will in the world would have forced them on that plane. Even as the dutiful daughter, my power has limits. You are screaming at them in a language that is foreign, expecting miracles overnight. Come on, Syd. Mum and Dad were old fashioned even by the standards of our community - afraid of every shadow."

Rebecca pulls her sister into a fierce hug trying to ease the tension out of tight muscles.

"Not everybody is a student that can bow to the superior logic of Dr Katz or Dr Katz-Lin sometimes fallible humans make mistakes along the way."

"I want them to like me again to accept my family."

"Learn to speak their language again, sister. Love comes in many forms and phrases" Rebecca advises as she moves them over to the bed.

***

"They look exactly like Sydney as a baby and maybe the son we lost."

Maggie blinks in surprise at the unexpected comment from her mainly silent and taciturn father in law. He so far watched silently as she settled the boys down for a quiet time that is a cross between a reading and a nap.

"Yes, it brings me profound joy to see so much of Sydney reflected in Gideon and Asher. I did not know you lost a child; the pain is profound."

"My wife and I longed for a house full of children, but our daughters were the only ones we were blessed to keep on this Earth. Little Aaron is the first new child to bless our family in many years. This fact causes Sarah great pain."

"I think the problems your family face inspired Sydney's career choice."

"Tell me something, Maggie, as a scientist, does having no genetic tie to Asher and Gideon cause you any grief, knowing that they will not carry on your family line."

"I too lost a child who I grief for every day, but I do not love her any more. My children are bound to my soul and heart irrespective of genetics. As a scientist, I appreciate the wonders that saved Aaron and brought my sons into the world."

"This is not a world I can adapt to easily, in spite of what Sydney and now Rebecca believes."

Maggie watches in surprise as her father in law moves into the room and lowers himself into the chair between the two beds. He starts correcting their Hebrew and offering a different interpretation.

***

"Whatever you think, this trip is going well. Would it help to know your parents are just as nervous and uncertain?"

Sydney looks up from her furious stress gardening to regard her brother in law with scepticism. Ever since Becca was sick Samual as a deep need to feel useful, so he is trailing her for the afternoon fixing things.

The little working bee of two is achieving much that the surgeons cannot manage between busy shifts and childcare.

"You know I wasn't allowed to add my children's names to the family tree, and all our letters were returned for the first nine months?" The bitterness still hasn't left even after many years.

"You were asking them to do a marathon when they were learning to walk this new path, Syd. Your mother has a copy of every momento you sent from day one, even if they are on display like the ones for Aaron."

"You and Rebecca are coping just fine.".

"Says the person who skipped out on most of the family fights and disagreements. It took as a while to get there even after Aaron was delivered healthy to us."

"The love of parent shouldn't be conditional Samual; you know this."

"Human beings, by their very nature, put conditions on everything. We are only attempting to reflect God's image, not always succeeding."

"Don't lecture me, Little Brother" Sydney offers the term of endearment affectionately.

"This isn't a lecture merely a reminder that knowledge and wisdom can be slow in coming to communities that resist change as a matter of principle" Samul replies with a shrug.

***

"You love my daughter and your sons."

Maggie resists the urge to make a sarcastic comment about that fact being blindly evident to everybody who knew them. Mrs Katz was reaching out in her clumsy, cold and awkward way. Syd would kill her for saying this, but there were many similarities between mother and daughter. Sydney hates the feeling of not understanding things that she considers essential and will lash out at anyone who gets in the way.

"My family brings me the greatest joy and its the touchstone of everything that I am. Sometimes love feels like an inadequate term, but most parents feel things way, don't they?"

"At one time or another, yes. I will never understand the path my daughter is on, but nor can I deny that being here with you is her fulfilment and faith."

"Every journey to acceptance begins somewhere. Thank you for making an effort to come."

"Both my daughters are stubborn. Rebbeca has threated us everything short of damnation for the past six months. She does not understand what it is like for us back home with all the whispers and gossip. We are not here entirely voluntarily."

"While I wish that weren't the case, your effort still counts for something, especially when you are getting to know your other grandsons."

"Hershel would have made a far easier match for my eldest daughter, but perhaps he wouldn't be a better one" Mrs Katz whispers almost to herself.

"Hershel is a wonderful man and will make a fantastic husband" Maggie agrees softly.

There isn't going to be a reconciliation worthy of a television movie or a self-help special. The Katz Family still finds solace in a particular kind of faith. Sydney's parents believe with every fibre of their being that a traditional path is the right one. Losing the daughter of their dreams is still a raw wound that may never heal.

Making an effort to accept a new reality still counts for something. This fact is true even the steps falter, and grief occurs on both sides.

****

"Uncle Albe, are we cursed?"

Abraham Stien suppresses a sigh as he regards the children in front of him with a mixture of compassion and weariness. Jewish children, especially those with Orthodox roots, spent far too much time worrying about old world curses and the fate of multiple generations.

"You know that your Mumma took a path that led away from the Orthodox tradition?" he refuses to patronise children with false language.

"Yes, so she could marry Mummy" Asher agrees solemnly as he digs into his sandwich.

"Yes, Sydney renouncing the Orthodox tradition meant your parents could marry and receive the blessing of two fine sons" Abraham agrees with a smile.

"However, it can be difficult for some relatives to adjust to the change, especially when the rituals and expectations are different. Your grandparents come from a grounding firm faith that hasn't significantly altered throughout the centuries. The talk about Ayin Hara and the right path is from fear."

"Is God angry at Mumma, Uncle Albe?" Gideon asks worriedly

"God is love, Gideon. People interpret his words differently, but the fundamental essence remains the same. He is wise enough to understand that his creations and miracles are going to be different from each other, going to love people differently."

"Will you explain these things to our Grandmother? You are good at explaining faith, Uncle" Asher suggests his face alight with the suggestion.

" While I would be happy to talk to Mrs Katz, she would not accept me as a teacher boys. She follows a different calling."

***

"Marry Me?"

Maggie laughs as her wife flops down on their bed. Her every gesture speaks of exhaustion as she snuggles into Maggie's side with a relieved sigh. There is a certain calmness in the household; now, they are back to a unit of four. Asher and Gideon are in mourning over the loss of their cousin but not the return of their parent's undivided attention.

"I know it been a long week side, but surely you remember we already did that. I have the name change, two sons and about 6000 photos to prove it."

Sydney sits up against the headboard as she regards Maggie sincerely from behind her reading glasses.

"I'm serious you deserve a reward for putting up with my family for ten days and my subsequent mood swings. We could grab Declan and the kids for a wild family adventure without the...Jewishness overload" Sydney suggests with a pleading.

"Ah, I was wondering if we were going to enter the territory of Sydney Katz- Lin overcompensation," Maggie replies with a teasing smile.

"That's not what I'm doing...."

"Of course it is, I don't need a grand romantic gesture or sign of devotion for doing my job. Accepting and paying respects to your family is in the job description...literally in the case of the scriptural vows." Maggie continues seriously.

"But..."

"Making contentions with your family is an honour, not a burden for me. We are making small steps and will make more, even if its the work of a lifetime. It makes me happy to ease some of the pain for you by being there."

"I still think you should let me throw you a party and say the vows all over again."

"Every year on our anniversary if you wish" Maggie agrees

"I am sure I can find some other ways to express my love and gratitude."

"You.."

"Hush" Sydney instructs with a passionate kiss.

Sydney intends to revisit the topic, but for now, enjoying the quiet space of a family home is enough.


End file.
